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Monday, August 07, 2006

The Floyd Landis Conspiracy

Rather than admit to using illegal preformance enhancing drugs and apologizing, Floyd Landis has declared a conspiracy against him. In this article, Landis said "There's some kind of agenda there. I just don't know what it is." His neighbors reported that night before making that comment, Landis was getting high and watching movies like Conspiracy Theory and JFK.

One of theories Landis came up with as an excuse for the positive test was an alien abduction. He claims he was teleported into an alien spacecraft before testing positive. He said it is reasonable to conclude that aliens used some type of testosterone raising drug on him during their "tests." Landis said that after the tests, the aliens allowed him to relax in the spacecraft's lounge area and have a few drinks with Elvis while gazing at a beautiful veiw of Saturn's rings. After a couple relaxing hours, the aliens dropped Landis off and gave him a special water bottle as a souvenir. In the morning before getting on his bike, Landis said he drank the contents of the water bottle and it magically disappeared but Landis said he doubted the water bottle had anything to do with it.


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