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Friday, June 23, 2006

It's Getting Hot in Here!

In recent news, The earth is getting Hot. The Northern Hemisphere is hotter than it's been in over 2000 years. Many experts, like Nelly, agree that it's getting hot in here. Nelly calls for a rather easy solution. He says to take off all your clothes. It only makes sense, if it's hot wear less.

Not everyone has bought into Nelly's theory though. Some groups think the solution is to stop polluting. Groups like FOE are against polluting and use catchy phrases like "Polar Bears are on thin ice because of Global Warming."

What is the real solution? Everyone seems to have their own ideas but here are some of mine:

1. Move the Earth further away from the Sun. With our technology today, this could be possible.

2. Turn Mars into a giant landfill. This would help reduce methane emmissions from our current landfills and no one is there anyways.

3. Nelly's idea. It wouldn't be such a bad thing as long as we conquer the obesity issue first.


Blogger Christopher McLaughlin said...

Other suggestions: 4) Giant Mirrors! Launch giant mirrors into outer space and reflect that sunlight back to the sun. 5) Iceberg Tugboats! Tow all the northern icebergs to the southern hemisphere during JUN-JUL-AUG and then tow them all back during DEC-JAN-FEB. That way they won't melt and drown NYC... oh wait...

8:42 PM  
Blogger His Indolence said...

6) massive new taxes for inland populations to support higher levees for New Orleans. 7) massive new taxes to subsidize flood insurance. 8) massive new taxes to keep people from blowing all their windfall savings from reduced winter heating costs on beer and Cheetos before they can spend it on increased air conditioning costs. 9) massive new taxes to subsidize air conditioning in the summer for people who've been forced to subsist on subsidized beer and Cheetos. 10) massive new taxes to support UN studies on the impact of global warming on gay Palestinians. 11) massive new taxes to ensure the incomes of icebreaker firms and sailors and prevent cutthroat competition.

11:02 AM  
Blogger prying1 said...

Soaking your head and sticking it in the freezer for an hour before leaving for work in the morning will keep you cool till 10:30-11:00... (Don't stick your tounge on the ice cube tray though. Trust me on that one...

1:18 AM  
Blogger The Analyzer said...

Those are all great suggestions. Perhaps we need to start our own group for taking over the wor....I mean saving the environment!

11:42 AM  
Blogger Dusty DooGooD said...

My suggestion is simple but should be very effective, according to the commercials anyway. Use taxpayers money to build a giant vat and and pipelines and then fill the vat with zillions of gallons of gatoraid. It can then be released into streams, rivers and lakes and eventually the ocean. It wont affect our water supply because its not toxic. It will then start to cool the earth down gradually and it puts back what you sweated away when it was hot. A few giant Misty Mate personal misters strategically place around the world would also aid in the recovery. So there ya go, Easy Peasy Japanesy!

3:52 PM  
Blogger Naturista said...

Nelly has it right - all the other suggestions sound like hot air to me!

3:56 PM  

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